on a personal note.

May 18, 2009

In July, I will have lived in Lynchburg for a complete year – one complete year since the moment I said, “I do” to my amazing bride.  I have seen the beauty of this fine state and I have witnessed numerous accounts of inspiring cultures.  I have no regrets of my decision to leave North Carolina and I have no doubt that God has specifically placed my life here, but lately it seems as if I sit at my desk and just stare out the office window wondering.  I feel a sense of something missing.

On the way to work through what felt like a fall morning, I heard a song filled with a powerful reminder to us all about simply going through the motions – read the lyrics of Matthew West’s “the motions.”

I don’t wanna go through the motions,
I don’t wanna go one more day without Your all-consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking, “What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”

The words were literally stamped onto my heart and I find myself asking, “what I have ignored or missed out on by simply going through the motions?”  I came to Lynchburg because I felt called to start a new adventure, a new chapter, not with just my wife but for myself.  The decision to leave a place where I had literally spent every bit of my time for nine years developing relationships that would last a lifetime and achieving certain goals to succeed did not come easy.  Numerous prayers and discussions were sought and following the proposal to my adoring wife, I remember driving to her apartment at the time and asked her, “what if I moved to Lynchburg?”  The inspiring notion about that statement was revealed without my heart even realizing it; my assurance was made complete immediately upon seeing the brightest smile of my dearest love.

So, why do I feel is if I am simply going through the motions if I felt called to relocate and be with my bride?  Because, I have lost sight of another love – my love for photography.

I came to Lynchburg with determination to spread my love for all types of photography – weddings, fine art, nature, portrait – and now one year later what do I have to show for it?  To be brutally honest, not a whole lot.  Don’t get me wrong I have had some amazing opportunities working with some very true and talented photographers to which I am eternally grateful; Adam Barnes, Rob Towner-Jones, Joel Coleman, to name a few.  But, where’s the evidence supporting my heart’s desire?

Last week I received an e-mail with the words striking a chord within my soul…

You have a gift that comes from God, mind you. Please continue using it. Let’s see some updates on your blog, or your website or something. Even just an email that says you’re spending your free time taking photographs would be good for my soul.

This message was sent on Wednesday, May 13 – thank you, Rob.

After that message last week and after this past Saturday, having the opportunity to work alongside again with my friend Mr. Joel Coleman, I believe the Lord above is truly attempting to remind me that I have a passion for photography.  Whether it is for freelance work or for personal fun – I have a passion for photography, more so film photography.

Starting today, my friends, my family, a wave of urgent understanding that I need to constantly keep the firm grip of a camera body in my hands and more importantly remove all barriers of “I’ll photograph something later” has engulfed my lack of effort.

My determination these next few weeks is to have a complete revision to this blog, my website, and an updated portfolio book, as well as begin my goal to photograph something 365 days straight to successfully complete my first one year of shooting book – name is of course subject to change.

My friends and family, I thank you for your never-ending support and encouragement.

“Let’s go to work…” Angel, series finale, 2004.

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